Another day another Gatekeeper in D&D

It’s been a while since I last wrote, but there was a ruckus in the community and you know I love a good opinion piece. So, as the latest gatekeeper war in the community simmers down, the crumpled mass of words the only sign there ever was one. People have blocked and are moving on. I’ve been thinking about the article that this person wrote to sum up their original tweets. No, I won’t share the article here, I won’t mention their name, simply because I have no interest in giving that arrogant and condescending attitude more space that it deserves. Trust me it’s easy enough to find on Twitter and probably will be for days…

However, while I was streaming last night, I think he referred to those who stream d&d as fake hipster and actors, I thought about the nonsense of his points and tried to sift through the postulating arrogance to find a response.

So here are my thoughts and yes, they are just that, my opinion and take what you will from it.

The crux of his argument was that those who only watch d&d on YouTube and in streams cannot classify themselves as d&d gamers. He also went on to discuss how streamers were themselves fake hipster d&d players or actors getting paid and reading scripts. That they gave an unrealistic view of the game of d&d. Finally, that those whose only interaction with d&d is to consume these games have no valid place to talk in the community. He later, in tweets, went on to deny there was a community *looks at her 2000 strong Twitter following* oh trust me sir if you are in the right place there is most certainly a community.

Let’s break these points down shall we, well on the face of it with the d&d gamer comment I guess you could say if someone does not play a game they are not a gamer. The conversations have swung back & forth but what is the definition of a gamer? The dictionary definition is:

Gamer

/ˈɡeɪmə/

noun

1. 1.

a person who plays video games or participates in role-playing games.

“every gamer has suffered from small-screen videos”

2. 2.

NORTH AMERICAN

a person known for consistently making a strong effort, especially in sport.

“he’s a gamer, always ready to go that extra mile”

Ok so participates in the traditional sense is someone who physically participates in the playing of the game. Let me show you another view point, go check out some of the d&d streams for a moment, here try this one EncounterRP you see how the viewers participate? Did you see how the entire game we played was dependent on the way they participated? Our viewers are vital to the game we play so if they are participating in the game would that not make them gamers?

However, putting this aside for the moment I personally am not sure the term gamer is totally fit for purpose in a community that, in the digital age, has grown the way it has. This brings me to his insistence there is no such thing as ‘The Community ‘ now there was a time when this was maybe true when d&d players largely only interacted with their friends and maybe those at the local games clubs who played. Sometimes there were occasionally visit to a con where you could meet other like-minded people (sounds a bit like a community to me). Then BAM the digital age and suddenly writers and artists, producers and content creators could all collaborate. Suddenly people from all over the world could join in a community and enjoy discussing and creating this wonderful game together. Those people who loved the books and the rules but perhaps never had the confidence or chance to play could find a voice and a place. If you want to tell me there is no such thing as the d&d community I could give you 100 examples to show you that you’re wrong. But I’m going to give you 1, the Cake and Writing Desk short stories ONLY exist because of d&d these are written by those in the community born out of their love of the game and their characters. It’s drawn by those in the community, edited, produced and read by those in the community and it features works from people all over the world sharing 1 common love…d&d now that is community at its finest. There are more podcast and creators that you could ever probably listen to each of these creates and adds a voice to the community and some being discussion bases give those who never have played an understanding of the game.

Now the fake ass, hipster cool actor’s streamer comment, well unfortunately this was a comment largely aim at Critical Role. Yes, they are all actors however I know it’s confusing because that is their day job but guess what actors are normally average people with normal average likes and oh my god THEY CAN LIKE D&D TOO!! I mean Vin Diesel & Joe Manganiello are examples of this however I’d probably not go and challenge either of their d&d cred to their face if I were you… Joe after all probably has more d&d cred in his little finger than most of us will ever have.

However back to Critical Role right let’s just get it out of the way now yes, it’s a very different game to the old school game and yes, they act. While we are there oh gosh they have new players and girls!! However, some of those players have probably been playing d&d longer than many of us. This game wasn’t about a bunch of actors trying to make money out of d&d I mean considering that when the stream started 3 years ago, Geek and Sundry only had a few thousand subs & nobody was doing this I’d say it would have been a poor way for actors to make money. If this gentleman had bothered to read or research CritRole he’d know this, they are as Matt Mercer always said a bunch of ‘nerdy ass voice actors playing Dungeon and Dragon’ they are just that Nerds playing the game they love.

Yes, the game has changed it a very different beast now compared to early editions but guess what that’s ok… things change and evolve. But that doesn’t mean your fun is wrong, you want to play OSR you do that and good on you but you know what someone else can play full on RP story arc based d&d too, It’s all valid. There is an argument that ‘new players will expect a certain DM or game type thanks to Matt Mercer and Critical Role’. I mean yes that’s true to a degree, but there have ALWAYS been diverse types of players those who like to Roleplay and those who prefer to Rollplay and there are those who flit between based on in game events. Guess what EVERYONE’S d&d is valid, it is our job as a DM to establish what our game is going to be like and maybe yes; some players won’t like it and they’ll go to find a different group been there done and that it’s ok, not everyone will like your game. Ok I will agree that the hardest thing being a DM in the post Critical Role age is that most of us will never be Matt Mercer this is very true but that’s ok too and actually most players I’ve met who came to d&d via CritRole get and understand this. They’ve probably seen more games and a wider variety of play styles than you realise.

You see it’s very easy to assume that all d&d YouTube and streamers are actors because there are a few who are also actors. However, the rest of us are just idiots playing a game we love and are just hoping someone will watch. I play in two games and I DM a 3rd as well as about to guest in a 4th. One of the games is streamed 2 are not & the 4th will be on YouTube I can tell you this now; the silliness, the laughter, the ridiculousness is the same in all of them. We are not playing to the audience when we are dying with laughter that is 100% genuine. The only real difference is in my home game I don’t have chat participating.

So, my point is before you want to gatekeep understand the beast as it has become. Before you want to assume what d&d streamers are or aren’t research, watch, learn. If you don’t like what Critical Role has done to your game that’s fine you still get to have your game the way you want it nobody said you must play their game. Finally, before you want to dismiss someone’s voice in the community understand that even if their participation is only watching it or listening to the vast podcasts out their they are still valid, they are still allowed because guess what they are participating too. You can play d&d and any other ttrpg anyway you want, you can have or not have at the table anyone you want. You can even sit in the corner and grumble that there is no community and it’s not as was in your day that’s ok too… but before you try to take someone’s vaildness away try & understand where they come from. Approach it in a reasonable fashion because a conversation is not where you say your opinion is right… just because and everyone else’s is wrong, end of no further debate. There are so many ways to play d&d and as far my experience has shown me there always has been, after all d&d is a game of make believe.

 

Tell me a story – Make it a good one, make it have battles and…

So for this blog I wanted to talk about storytelling and the involvement of storytelling in D&D and the ability to be a good storyteller and it’s importance to being a good DM. What does a good storyteller mean to a DM? If you aren’t imaginative or creative at spinning tales do those make you a bad DM? Is storytelling all that D&D and being a DM is about? Well OK the intention is to answer these questions or possibly it’s to inconsistently ramble till there are enough words for a blog, whichever happened first most likely.

So the other night I was chatting with my boyfriend about creating stories and day dreaming as a way to stop your mind wondering to those unhelpful , dark thoughts that it tends to when you are on your own. He was saying he wanted to try and create more stories in his head to keep his mind active and on positive thoughts, and because he’s just venturing into being a DM my response was ‘just think this might give you more story ideas so you can run some more games’. His response was that he felt  he wasn’t creative enough at storytelling to do more that encounter heavy one shots, and certainly (he says anyways) not as creative or a storyteller like I am.

Now here’s the thing I don’t consider myself a story telling, I do not consider myself if I am honest the most creative of people.  Yes I have created an entire world (my own cannon and very little out of the books) I mean OK I even have a story published and I work in marketing none of that to me really in my head makes me a story teller. My sister is a story teller – she wrote a book and everything so she certainly has proof, I like to call myself a weaver of threads. For me being a good DM can mean a lot of different things and I am not sure being an excellent story teller alone is one of them. I say this because some people like puzzle games or encounter heavy games, games full of traps and tricks, games with very little role-playing – all of these count as valid ways to play Dungeons and Dragons or in fact any RPG. After all there is no right and wrong way some people think in terms or skirmishes others in terms of deep character development. Story telling is one small part of an overall – it’s the bit that can wrap around the encounters – the bit that helps the characters grow and develop, but is that always necessary? Is that how every game must be played?

Also out of interest who is actually telling the story you, the players, or both? There are so many paths and twists that are starting to appear in my story and they aren’t all down to me. The players took the handful of notes I scribbled down and into them they fed their beliefs, their emotions and suddenly I am bribing them with cake to forgive the Gods who only got things wrong because players and I had to write their God chosen characters out of a game.

I think there is a lot more that goes into being a DM and for me personally I think it’s those things I tap into rather than being a storyteller. Firstly an ability to use what is given to me, see here’s the crux of my point so much of the apparent ‘storytelling’ I do is to take what the players hand me and develop it, use it and most importantly play with it, some twists and turns can come from what the characters do as much as the twists I create in the overall story. I am always mentally storing what they say and do to use at a later date to my own advantage and possibly to theirs. To me the key is being able to think on my feet and improvise, to use common sense and just think how would that look, work, sound, feel, the rest really guys is down to you – you give the colour and flavour – it is you who pulled that NPC out of 2D obscurity and right into the main plot.

More importantly I think the key to being a good DM is to just do it, stop questioning and second guessing you grab a book and go for it. Remember we all DM differently and we all play D&D differently your way is not wrong being a good DM for each of us is different so don’t compare yourself, I’m no Matt Mercer or Chris Perkins but hey I am still a DM and I’m never going to say any different. Also remember just because you are new your ideas are just as valid the way you do it is just as right as everyone else – that’s what’s great about a game where we make it all up in our minds – your mind is just as awesome as the next persons.

What’s your DM/GM style?

So what’s your style?  Are you fast and loose with the rules, or a bit of a rule Lawyer? Do you carefully craft a world spending hours on prep, writing and researching your world? Or are you more likely to go in with no notes and make it all up in the spur of the moment? Or perhaps you sit somewhere in between. Are you out to kill each of your players or make them heroes? The more I meet both Dungeon Masters and Games Masters the thing I am learning is we are all so much alike and so vastly different at the same time. The best part of being a Games Master or a Dungeon Master it is there is no right or wrong; there is no hard & fast rule to what makes a good DM because a good DM comes down simply to what type of game you want to play and if you and your players are right for each other and the game style. Some players and Games Masters do not work together, nothing wrong in that – no failures here you learn and move on and up to new games.

Personally I’m the King and Hero maker type I want my players to succeed and become heroes, but only in my main campaign. I have spent hour’s thinking about the world and their journey and for the most part I would rather they made it to the end and got to save the world, stopped the bad, reached level 20 and receive their epic Boons. However, I am also not going to force that hand, hey if they die they die, just because the Gods have chosen them as Heroes that does not mean they have never ending lives. Also on that factor, bringing back someone from the dead isn’t, in this world, always going to be easy just because they have a Cleric, I might want them to be heroes but I don’t want to make thing easy and I certainly don’t want them to go through the campaign without suffering because really where is the fun in that?

In One-Shots it is a little different and my DM style is a lot more let’s see how much damage we can do and what fun we can have. It’s silly and ridiculous and about pushing the characters and the rules as much as possible. Although I will be honest as I have gained more experience as a DM that side has come out more both in one-shots and occasionally in my main campaign. When I started last year I pulled my punches metaphorically so to speak because I didn’t really know what the players would be capable of and what was achievable at the different levels. With more experience under my belt and a little bit of trial and error and a lot of talking to other DMs that knowledge is getting stronger and I am getting more confident.

When it comes to creating a world, a session, one-shots and the rules I play it pretty fast and loose. For the rules I don’t worry too much if my interpretation is right or wrong so long as the game runs smoothly the players over all have fun (because well it’s not always exactly fun, it can be terrifying being a player.) and that they players and myself agree (or at least they accept) my interpretation of the rules. We sometimes talk it through and if I make a ruling that they aren’t sure of I am happy to discuss and hear their point of view. As for prepping as much as I style myself of Matt Mercer school of DMing (and no not because he’s cool or well-known I just like his style and it works for me and my heavily story & Role-playing based campaign) that is where my similarities end. I wish I could be more like him in his in-depth planning and creating – with a variety of voices and accents I could reel out at a drop of the hat, however the truth is I am not and I do not think I could ever be.  For me the impulsive, improvised element works, I get too stressed if I over plan and the story becomes to ridge. I create better and, I think, more interesting things if I think on my feet rather than spend time meticulously planning and writing things down. I really struggle with the concept of writing session notes, other than bullet points to trigger my memory on what the town is like, the people of course (mostly) key NPC names – until I have forgotten one that I’ve had to think up in the moment and then forget to write it down.

I will be honest my style doesn’t always allow for remembering intricate details and I don’t think my world will ever be as beautiful or as fully realised as say it is in something like Critical Role by hey this is a hobby that is good for my creativity, confidence and my mental health and therefore I am not going to stress if my bit of fun isn’t done the right way or I could be more in-depth – see that’s the point all are styles are different and nobodies is better or right. You DM you and I’ll DM me and so long as we all have fun and as a group of friends, laugh, cry, feel sacred and all the other D&D related emotions in between then you did right.

Running in the Shadows…. Trying out new RPGs

So one of the things I promised myself this year was to not only play more RPGs/D&D with the community from online but to also actually try a variety of RPGs. I have played a few systems but most of my current roleplaying experience is Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition which I love, but I really wanted to try more and to try other systems there is after all such a massive range out there to play.

So I have started running in the shadows with my new group ChummersInc. If you’d like to catch up on our smooth operation and skillful handling of the complex world of shadow run, well you might need to wait for a while, instead I’d recommend you catch us here on the lovely Hanno Ziegler YouTube page, and enjoy how we bumble through covert missions and a world of undercover behaviour. We’re currently playing 5^th Edition which I’ll be honest means little to me as I have no experience of 1, 2,3 or even 4^th edition, although I gather there are a few changes here and there. I also gather from talking to other players and GMs that 5^th edition is cleaner and slightly easier and the core rule book is less complex. However if this is so then I never want to look at the older editions rule book – 5^th is in-depth enough for me. If you want to know more technicalities of it I am sure there are plenty of reviews out there comparing the editions, as a side note they’ve probably also actually read the core rule book – which I might have not actually done yet.

Anyways I digress so I haven’t really read the core rule book, but I know what I needed to for Princess Glitter to be born. She is a young troll teenage girl, who believes some day dreams can come true and a prince will one day sweep her off her feet and she really will be made a Princess. She loves the finer things in life and has a taste for fancy things like Champagne, loves all things pink and glittery oh and she’s talented at hurting people and I mean really hurting people. So far she’s ripped arms off enemies who have stabbed her. Pulverized faces into the concrete all while wearing pink leather hot pants, teeny tiny pink bikini, huge biker boots and yes in pink and a long black leather coat and finally her hair is a fabulous rainbow of colour. This by the way is a little doddle that Hurm provided me so you can get a feel for Princess. If you haven’t checked Hurm out his twitter is here @Hurmly he’s a great DM and you can find him streaming some of his games online, sometimes he does doddle streams too – I’d highly recommend you check his things out.

Shadowrun has been fun to play and a very different RPG system to D&D it reminds me of the White Wolf, Vampire the Masquerade system but with D6’s rather than D10’s. Similar in the sense that you have attributes and skills and the amount of points in those areas determines how many dice you get to roll for whatever it is you are doing. The more skill & ability you gain the more dice you would have to roll. This has pros and cons I have found unlike D&D where you roll 1 dice and add your modifier to it, in theory as your modifier is higher  for things you are proficient in that usually means (although dice being as they are, not always) you have a high chance of succeeding in your actions. In shadowrun where your dice pools increases and you just roll more D6’s you really are subjected to the luck of the dice, nothing to add just roll all your dices and hope for some successes. I always seem to naturally have a good relationship with my dice and do well, but for those Wil Wheaton’s out there I am sure that can make for an interesting game.

Really am enjoying spreading my RPG/tabletop wings and trying out new games, have so many plans for this year. Finally will have access to a dining room table for gaming purposes and might even have a chance for a full games room.  So this means I need more games to play to make getting these things worthwhile so always feel free to make suggestions. In the mean time I shall run some more in the Shadows and really finally try to get my head round the rule book. Shadowrun is certainly less straight forward to D&D 5^th Edition (which I’ll be honest I haven’t read all the rule books, all the way through for either) but as both a player this is really something I should do. Especially as Shadowrun is dangerous we can get hurt so much as so easily, thankfully I took high pain cos that last session 8 points of damage would have left me on some nasty minus otherwise!

 

 

 

A year down the Line – CritRole, D&D and a Community of Shared Experiences

A year down the Line – CritRole, D&D and a Community of Shared ExperiencesSo it’s a year on from the first time I wrote about Critical Role, the community and what it all means to me. So where are we now a year on, well wow so much happened the fandom grew and grew and well exploded. Like any family we’ve had ups and down and disagreements all round, when you join something as creative and passionate as this community you are going to get apposing thoughts.

There is even now, as I write this, disagreements waging which I feel in many minds over, you see part of me feels that it is difficult to criticise or demand of something that is improv. The actor in me who has done many improv sessions in the past and whom often waits until she’s opened her mouth before assessing her words feels it is hard to pull people up for a spur of the moment game. However on the other hand is it really just a game anymore? Yes it’s a streamed D&D game but is it now, with more 30000 subscribers to the channel it’s on, a talk show of its own and merchandise, a piece of consumed media and more than just a D&D game? Where is the line between the two and how much responsibility do the cast owe the community? I honestly do not know the answer and flit from one side of the argument to the other, what I do know is I have never seen so much criticism from one community and that is both good and bad. Don’t get me wrong not all criticism is bad and I do not think we should just sit by and consume without engaging, however I also know that the place of privilege I guess I come from doesn’t really give me a voice in this over all argument.

What is more I like to sit in a place of sparkles and positivity, which means I accept possibly more than I should but I will fight the right corner when needed, but honestly I also don’t think it is my place to criticise. No I am not saying you shouldn’t either – if you have a good point to raise, something that should be said then do it, that’s what is great about this community the amount of passionate, intelligent people who have so much of value to say. What we need to be remembered that same passion that goes into asking for representation also is the beating heart of the creativity artistically, writing, creating campaigns and worlds cosplaying that makes this community. This community blows me away with the people you find here, there are so many of you who create, who are talented and well the art is astounding. I have never been part of something before that feels so positive. I have met some of my closest friends who live all over the world, thanks to this crazy show with nerdy voice actors playing D&D. These are people I visit or will visit who have or will visit me, whom I speak to regularly and value wholeheartedly. I have bought friends from my day to day life into the community.

Due to Critical Role I found the creativity, not just with being a DM and creating my own world but writing and art. I have submitted short stories to be published and I draw and do photography again something that I had done in so long, and that is purely and simply down to your encouragement and belief. I guess for me that is the heart of it, for all the criticisms and I totally get many of the points. For the increase in the fandom (there are so many of you now – I find new critters all the time, gone is the day I knew you all), for all the errors and mistakes that may or may not be made by the cast and community – you know what I will always be glad I was here for the ride. Watching something that was so small when I first found it online and the community was tiny to see it explode into the juggernaut it is blows me away. This has been a wild ride but let’s not forget to really enjoy it before it is over, rather than spending time squabbling lets embrace each other’s points as valid and allowed and get down to the serious business of watching some nerdy voice actors play Dungeons and Dragons and in the meantime it is a pleasure every day to know you community and thank you for the opportunities you provide.

Starting the year the way I plan to keep going…. Scaring the hell out of my PC’s and all the D&D

So at New Year we chose to see out 2016 and in 2017 playing D&D, for me with what D&D and more importantly being a DM meant to me throughout 2016 I honestly couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate a new year. We introduced two friends to D&D as well and there really isn’t anything I love more than first time players, I love explaining the rules, getting them to build their character sheets. I love that moment when they stare at you blankly with a rabbit caught in headlights expression but later when the sheet is done, the dice rolled, the stats chosen, the feats taken and suddenly it all makes sense, it all seems to easy – so this was a perfect new year gift to myself!

So what was the game – well we played 5^th edition because I honestly feel as an introduction to D&D it gives you all the fun and feel of older editions but it is less rule heavy, a lot less rule heavy. It allows for more character flow and there are less ‘um I think you’ll find the rule says….’ moments, perfect for new players. The setting – As I haven’t yet used the pre-planned campaign stuff that Wizards of the Coast have produced this was once again a Kat brain inspired one-shot. Partly I haven’t used the pre-planned stuff because when I first started I did not know much of the original settings and lore and felt I needed to know it all if I was going to dabble in the world. I am finding that this is slowly changing meeting and talking with other DMs and Players is slowly helping me understand the wider D&D world – there is a wealth of information out there and so many willing people who want to help, advice and encourage you to grow as a DM. To be honest though I do largely like to make up my own settings, worlds and lore – for me I find it easier to put that work in than base it in a world I do not know well enough. As it was over the Christmas naturally I wanted to do a Christmas themed one-shot. I also wanted to combine some of my favourite stories into it. This session very much had Critical Role inspired elements, it was heavily Joe Hill’s NOS4R2 inspired with your typical Christmas dream sequence – it was scary, silly and all the Vampire’s… oh and of course they went to Christmas Land.

This game was a fantastic catalyst for the new players, who knew of D&D and RPGs for years but had never felt comfortable dipping a toe in the RPG water.  They now have play in several one-shots, have joined my main campaign and one of them is about to take part in a PugMire Campaign that will be streamed, I honestly couldn’t be prouder. The way they have taken to RPing is warming to watch and makes me proud to have been their first DM. As for me I am working on an honing my DM skills, I had an aim to play more D&D this year but more importantly more D&D with the critter and RPG community – so that means you lot. Have I managed this? Well I’ve done 2 one-shots and joined a monthly campaign which is 2 one-shots & 1 monthly campaign more than 2016.  Because I’d played so little D&D I had very limited experience on what makes a good DM. As wonderful as Critical Role is and  as inspiring Matt Mercer is as a DM it is a lot to live up to if you are insecure or new to the whole thing.

Also in Matt’s defence he has been doing this for years and is making a show out of his game so he sort have needs to be tight and slick with his DM skills but when you are new and not sure what you are doing he can inadvertently be a lot to live up to. Playing other games with different DMs has helped me to be more comfortable with my mistakes and to feel surer of my story and the rules. As much as I think I am a better DM than a player and personally if you asked me I am a DM and not a player, playing and seeing others DM has really helped grow my ability and skill.

So this is a quick overview of D&D and the beginning of 2017, there is so much I haven’t written about yet. Playing in the Shadows and becoming a Runner, branching out into writing – oh and filling up what time is left when not running in the shadows or DMing with Neverwinter, now that has been an experience for me. I am making no promises here but lefts hope this is the start of a little more regularity.

 

 

D&D, A New DM and Expectations…..

So I know this has been covered in a couple of blogs both Goblin Stomper (here)  and Zardogames (here)  both make interesting points either in their blogs or over on twitter, also the wonderful Terminally Nerdy’s discussion on YouTube which is really worth watching here do he makes some really great points. I wanted to talk about my experience’s in this, you see I have only been DMing for a year and I will be honest yes things like Acquisitons Inc. and Critical Role made me nervous I spend hours watching Matt Mercer thinking I will never be at his level I will never DM like he does– as Terminally Nerdy says in his video I will never be as cool as them.

I have experienced both the positive and negative, I have had players worry and be unsure of the game because it’s not as funny, or as slick or whatever as Critical Role and I’ll be honest it never will be…. Why? As much as I respect and look up to Matt Mercer I do not have the will to put that many hours in to D&D, to make things that smooth, to know the rules that way that he does or say Chris Perkins does – I’m not a professional and I do not work for Wizards of the Coast. Also I’m here to have fun around my other hobbies and work and having a life.

The way this player dealt with it was to watch some less professional streamed D&D to see more home run games…. In all honestly we aren’t a bad group, it’s not as slick as it can be but I think we do alright and once this was addressed he was more than happy that we might not be ‘Critical Role’ level, but I never expect to be, but actually we weren’t bad in terms of knowledge or how we play. I have also had players say how great it would be to have a top down camera, or full on battle maps, or full soundscapes etc. etc. etc… after watching Force Grey and Titansgrave… you know it would also be nice to have post production and fan art but that’s not happening, this after all is what home D&D is all about – sat in my lounge, with my friends.

However I wanted to throw a counter argument into the mix because as much as I have experience the expectations that comes with being introduced to D&D via these play casts I also have a differing experiences.  At New Year  I got 2 of my friends to join us for D&D  now their first experience of it was actually watching another friends home game – but we are talking a friend who is at epic level storytelling and has done this D&D thing many a year and therefore far, far surpasses my abilities.

After near on 2 days of D&D with them we introduced them to Force Grey they devoured it, in an instances and have now watched past where I am. They are desperate to jump into Critical Role and that made me nervous. I was honest with them and said I am never going to be to the level of these DMs (once early on when I first found these online D&D games someone said to me ‘Chris Perkins, Matt Mercer and Wil Wheaton – the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit – the trinity of D&D’ and you could say that.) How refreshing was their answer, the fact they never even though to compare those DMs to my skill – they were far too busy watching these and learning and assessing their own abilities and not in the ‘oh I am never going to be to that level’. Instead they were learning and developing their understanding of the game – not comparing not demoralising but wanting to get into the role play more – seeing what more they could do once they have played more. It’s made then more not less eager to try. In terms of the DM side of it – each one was so in awe of how much work being a DM is it never crossed their mind to say I could be better.

I guess what I am saying is that both experiences are possible and what we need to do is rather than compare ourselves to these professional level D&D players, and DMs is be inspired by them to tell a story, be inspired to leave your comfort zone…. Be inspired to just play, have fun and be silly and most importantly enjoy D&D for what it is…. and not for what you aren’t doing.

Beginnings

So the lovely Thessaily’s Place has created the beginnings of Keri, Kuruk and Lia’s story – well the beginnings of their adventure together. Having role-played this out she has now started to write it up and I couldn’t be happier so please find below the beginnings of D&D on the fly….

Oh also the picture for this blog you will find on Thessaily’s Place too – it’s drawn by here and it is the group…. Oh who now are called the Cleansing Flame!

Keridanyth Keridanyth awoke on the morning of her 40th birthday with a sense that something amazing was going to happen. No doubt, she thought, a party. At least she hoped. Keridanyth had never had…

Source: Beginnings

Positive thoughts and things I love…

So there is a couple of blogs I am hoping to write, mainly because I suddenly have all these ideas floating around my head and I haven’t had ideas in weeks. We’ll see what I get down; I am hoping that they’ll form into a few cohesive blogs rather than just a jumble of ideas and words. Firstly, as promised I want to do a positive thoughts blogs this will be a collection of things I have done or things I love, things that make me smile that make me happy. This is yes I admit mainly for myself, the idea is to encourage me to look at things in a more positive light and to see the good, but I hope perhaps it helps you too.

 
So you ask, what’s been good recently? Well so much I am not really sure where to start. I can’t even remember the turning point where I stopped lying in bed and seeing it all as useless and started to get up and do simple things. I started with sorting out the washing, tidying the kitchen finally hovering the house, these simple things not only helped declutter the house but also my mind. I started to think more clearly and take time to appreciate simple things, a clean house, changed sheets the beauty of summer starting to bloom. I started to spend time with the people I loved again, with close friends. I went outside and re discovered the garden, started to tend to the plants I had neglected, which under a more tentative hand started to grow. I now have so many ideas for the garden, I want to make it look magical and I will be buying cute outdoor lights for it soon (yes you will get pictures when that happens.) A friend said to me early on, not long after everything happened that I should get out in the garden, that there was nothing better than getting earth under your nails, and you know what? They were right.

 
Also some of the projects I mentioned yesterday could be closer than I thought, as a few of them have included doing videos I have been nervous to do them. However, as I feel better about things, more positive and feeling more like myself these nerves get less and less. In fact, tomorrow I might finally get round to recording one of these with a friend who does a really awesome DM interview series on YouTube Hanno Ziegler while you are there check out his D&D sessions too. I’m nervous as hell but I am also really excited about it too. I want to try and do things that push me out of my comfort zone and a video will definitely do that, as I sound weird to myself when I hear recordings, I mean who let me go around with that high pitched squeaky thing. Part of the ‘out of the comfort zone’ that I am learning is that I still need to feel in control, I can’t go too far out the zone. To far would not be having any control over it, and these projects, my input and involvement is controlled by me and that helps.

 
Finally, I want to talk about a couple of books in the pipe line (no not mine, yes I write but short and sweet works better for me – I’d lose you all somewhere half way through a book.) I am beta reader for Diary of a Hunter Book 2, if you remember I wrote a review of book 1 (it’s here if you want to refresh Have you ever tried reading a Demon Hunters diary? ) Well finally chapters of book two are winding their way to my inbox and I am excited about finding out where this goes. I have had so many discussions with the author during the writing stage and I am excited to see what Amber writes next. I really can’t wait to share it with you, they’ll be a review, by then I am hoping to have moved my reviews to video format so you’ll be able to really tell by then if I am psyched about a book or not. I also had the pleasure to read the first 2 chapters of a friend’s book and well… Damn! It’s good you can find it here Zombies Ate My Jaffa Cakes and I would recommend you reading it.

 
Oh and I should mention that I am starting to feel really good about D&D, I feel like I am getting into my groove as a Dungeon Master. My writing is getting better; my story telling, I even amazed myself by creating proper puzzles and traps which I felt the game was sorely lacking. Even my notes are starting to look like DM notes, I am starting to feel like a real DM. No, I don’t know what a ‘real DM’ feels or looks like, but I imagine all powerful, god like… in a cloak with a hood and I have one of those, so I must be a DM now right? I should mention as well that I still love Critical Role, that helps, I listen and learn and hope that the inspiration I take away continues to make me a better DM. I certainly know being surrounded by wonderful, talented, inspiring people makes me a better person so to all of you who touch my life, family, friends, Critters…. You are the positive you make it worth getting out of bed, getting dressed and achieving the day.

And We’re Back After a Brief Intermission… Time for more Mussing’s of a Kat

So we’re back after a small hiatus, we’ll call it the mid-season break, it’s been so long I had to remind myself of my last blog post to see where I had got to. There is a lot I want too and need to write and I know I am behind on so much, for example there is several D&D posts overdue and I have a lot to say on the Mental Health side of things. Therefore, I am hoping this won’t be my only blog this week but we’ll need to see how things go. So what happened? Well I have had some time to think things over and this has been good, I’ve been focusing on myself recently and re-finding the balance I so sorely needed. Things are now in a better place and I am slowly looking for a new job, something that I love, am passionate about is what I am hoping for but we’ll see I have plenty of time. I am also trying to find joy in simple things again, I started reading and I am trying to fit mediation and mindfulness in where I can. In fact, there are so many things I am hoping to do or looking forward too which is a great place to be, so my first step is to tell you about some of them, by writing them down you see I feel more driven to do them. After all, once I have shared it with you well then I have to do it, see.

 
So today I am going to tell you a few of my plans, for starters over the next few weeks I am going to revamp the look of this blog focus on getting the branding right. I plan to write more extensive write ups of the D&D On The Fly, but they perhaps will be moved from the blog section. I am thinking of creating a page for them so that you can still find them if you enjoy them, however I am aware they are too long for a blog and they clutter up the page. Ok clutter is the wrong word they just take up too much of the screen in the current blog format. I will also still focus on Mental Health, my journey and my thoughts on this, but some of this will feature in a new format to the blog, which will be my positive thoughts dairy. I want to write about the things that have happened that make me feel good, that make me focus on what is positive, good and right in my life right now so you have that to look forward too.

 
Finally, I want to try some other projects, there are a few in the pipe lines but they are still being discussed / prepared /created and will involve working with other wonderful people. So for now I won’t discuss them but if/when/as you will be there first to be updated. I also have created my own channel on YouTube, don’t worry you don’t need to rush over right now there isn’t anything there just yet. In time though I will perhaps be doing what I do here but also there – maybe reviews of books and films, talking Mental Health, D&D and well anything else that comes into my head. I figured that it could be a way around writer’s block, which has definitely plagued me recently and in those times it is easier for me to say it than write it, we’ll just have to wait to see what happens.

 
Also I want to reach out and involve you readers more so please leave comments, suggestions, input, thoughts and love. Let me know what you think, what you’re thinking about, what would you like to see my write on, what suggestions for YouTube videos do you have? Do you have something you want to talk about? Maybe I’ll do a guest blog feature if you’d like? Who knows, but I do what to keep expanding this and I would love for you to join me on the ride. Ok so this is me for now, but I will be back with something else, will not leave it so long next time.